New to the Net: Safe Chatting

by Linda C. Allardice, © 2002

One of the first places I visited when I signed up for my Internet service way back in 1993 was the public chat rooms. It was so fascinating to have all these strangers gather together and talk about everything from politics to just how much they really hated their bosses. My mouth gaped like a sea bass when I noticed some folks spilling their guts onto the computer screen and admitting to stuff that should be kept secret – such juicy gossip I couldn't get at my hairdresser on one of her busiest days.

Chat rooms are still enormously popular, but the rules of safety remain as steadfast as a palace guard.

If you're new to the Web, you've got to be extremely careful in chat rooms. There are some major don'ts you need to follow to keep your chatting an enjoyable yet safe experience.

Don't ever for whatever reason enter your real name, address, city, phone number, password, or any other personal information into a chat room discussion.

Oftentimes, a perpetrator who may want to hack into your computer -- or worse your home -- can come up with clever ways to get inexperienced Internet users to reveal personal information. They might get you to talk about landmarks, places of interest in your community, where you work or go to school to zero in on your location.

Don't respond to Instant Messages if you don't know the sender.

Instant Messages are those private messages that pop up on your screen apart from the main chat room. Some are easy to detect as spammers when they send you an IM saying they are a model and want you to look at their pictures. That screams "yes, I am a porno perp" loud and clear. Some spammers have password sniffers on their end that can snatch your password if you reply to the message. Once they have your password they can have a field day with your account. Spammers might send you an IM that says "Warning: you cannot continue in the Chat Room without entering your password here." This catches many new Internet and some veterans off guard and they mistakenly comply with the request.

Go to a private chat room if possible.

Some Internet providers allow patrons to create their own rooms that are somewhat semi-private. It's a great place for family, friends or business associates to hang out without getting clobbered by unwanted intruders and spammers. Another drawback with public chat rooms is that everyone Tom, Dick and Harry gets your screen name and clogs your e-mail box with junk mail.

If you dare enter a public chat room, be prepared to have an e-mail box full of credit card offers, specials on Viagra, and sites that promise nude pics of your favorite celebrities for FREE.

If you don't want to fight, find another room

Stay in a chat room long enough, and the place begins to turn into a bar with someone eventually typing in capital letters (viewed as SHOUTING) claiming God doesn't exist. Or someone will spill enough racial slurs onto the screen that would even make Archie Bunker cringe. These arguments can get pretty heated because everyone is anonymous, shooting their mouths off, and taking some nasty shots at others. Don't engage in hate speech or get involved with those trying to make trouble. Some chat rooms allow you to ignore certain people, or even allow you to report those who are disrupting the chat room.

Don't let your children enter public chat rooms without supervision

Too many children are taken advantage of in these chat rooms and terrible things have happened to them. Sometimes, they believe they are chatting with someone their own age, when they are really chatting with an older person who spends his time on the Internet trying to lure children into a trap. Make sure your children never reveal their names, telephone number, address, school name, password, state, city, or where their parents work, in a chat room or IM.

No one wants to be taken advantage of, so it's especially important that you keep your guard up when you enter public chat rooms. Enjoy chatting with folks from around the world, but remember to keep that line of not-giving-out-personal-information deeply drawn in the sand, and don't cross it. . .ever.

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©2002 Jeanine Linda Allardice

Linda Allardice is the business manager of Bay City Marketing at http://www.geocites.com/baycitymarketing

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Got Those Empty Nest Blues? The last of the kids have all left home and now you're wondering, "What do I do now"?

Sometimes it takes a while to come to the realization that you are now on your own. You've been helping to get them raised and preparing them to go out into the world on their own and suddenly that time has come and gone (and so are they!). You look around only to wonder, what now?

The time seemed so far off, that you just weren't prepared when it finally arrived.

So, now it's time to start thinking about all those things you told yourself you would do, "If only I had time, I'd love to ……."

When you stop to think about it, you've really come to a good time in your life. The kids are grown, have lives of their own, you're now free to do all "Those things you kept telling yourself you'd do." Thing is; now you have to remember just what they were!

Well, this little article is just to get you to thinking!

It's never to late to start something new either. I had an Aunt that started painting when she was in her 50's. Wasn't even aware that she could paint that well!

There's always school. Yes, school. There are all kinds of courses you could take on a lot of different subjects. Think of any that might be of interest to you? Maybe there's a degree of some sort that you'd like to go for? I've heard of some who went for their nursing degree in their late 30's early 40's!

Have any hobbies that you put aside because you didn't have enough time to really devote to them? If not, then start some new ones! Just think of some new things that you would like to learn how to do, then go sign up for some classes! Might even make some new friends in the process.

There's also volunteer work. Places like hospitals, nursing homes, the Salvation Army. They are always looking for someone to help out. Lots of other similar places too. Can be a really rewarding feeling knowing that you are really needed.

What about schools? Like volunteering to help tutor some students? Could be elementary, middle or high school. I'm sure that would be really appreciated and helpful to the students also. Or, if not volunteering, see if there are any openings for teachers aides in any of the schools in your area.

Of course there's always some sort of sports activity you can take up. Like tennis? Golf? Bowling? Get some of your friends and join a league. If they don't want to, then do it by yourself. There again, you always have room for new friends in your life! (Not to mention you can keep active and get exercise at the same time) Ok, now, for those of you who are married (or have a significant other), well, need I say more? Let's get that romance back! Start taking some weekends together. Go out to dinner or the movies. Take a cruise! (They are really nice and can be very romantic) This time can be almost like getting to know each other all over again! Make it fun and interesting. You sometimes get so wrapped up in the kids life that you forget you have one of your own. Just use your imagination. Remember, you're still young, enjoy life!

I know, some of you out there are saying, "But I'm single (or not) and have to work for a living!" Well, if you haven't been real happy with the job you have now, maybe this is a good time to start looking for a new career? Maybe start your own business? If you are happy with your present job; are there some courses that you can take that might help to get a promotion or to just make things easier for you? You can still find some new things to do just for yourself, even if it's just getting out more with your friends.

Remember, the kids are through with school, all grown up and on their own. Time to start looking around and see just what you want to do with you life now. Single or married, there's lots out there for you, just put your thinking cap on!

No sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because you're feeling "deserted" or not "needed". Well, it's ok for a little while, but not for long! Once you get use to your new found independence, well, watch out!

Besides, they always know they can come visit any time they want. (and probably will quite often!)

Hope you enjoyed this little article and got something from it.

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©2002 Jeanine Herrin

Stop by for a visit anytime! http://www.emptynestmoms.com

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