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not that he's always had one (a good attitude , I mean!)
"The
only place where success comes before work (hard) is in the dictionary."
WHERE
DO YOUR ATTITUDES COME FROM?
I
believe that heredity (the genes that you inherit) have some part
in forming attitudes. However, most important in shaping them, is
the family environment, especially in your early childhood: the
impressionable years up to the age of seven. Also critical are your
lifetime experiences and events (whether happy or traumatic) in
later years. What is happening in your life today, yesterday and
all those past years. There are three areas of life in which your
attitudes are formed.
1.
A sense of BELONGING which is picked up before birth. The "vibes"
in the womb of the mother (hard to be a father in this process)
will determine whether we are really wanted by the mother, and this
can determine our degree ofsecurity (or insecurity) in later life.
2.
Your sense of WORTH will be determined by your immediate family
in your early childhood. They instil in you an inner sense of well-being
and of being loved. The role of mothers and fathers is critical
in the socialization process for the development of your attitudes.
Their expectations of you play a big part in your life script.
3.
Your sense of COMPETENCE will also originate in the family environment.
That is why it is very important to praise and encourage children.
If they are continually reprimanded, children will feel that they
can't ever do things right. This then develops into the child thinking,
"I am a person of no worth who is no good at anything."
This attitude grows over time and can be re-inforced in the working
environment. Even extremely competent business executives can feel
insecure on a personal level and have difficulty in personal relationships.
DEVELOPING
SUCCESS ATTITUDES
Golda
Meier, an earlier Prime Minister of Israel, was once asked what
made Israel such a success against the might of the united Arab
armies. Israel, as you most probably know, is a small country set
in the middle of a desert, with virtually no natural resources and
no wealth. Meier replied, "All that my country has is the spirit
of it's people. If the people lost their spirit, not even the might
of the United States of America could save us." A right attitude
throughout the country overcame all the odds and insurmountable
difficulties throughout it's turbulent history.
The
top salesman for Bell telephones in America is a quadriplegic. Although
he can only blink his eyes and open his mouth, his attitude and
perseverance have made him num-ber one. (Stanford University after
doing extensive research, said that all success is 87.5% as a result
of your attitudes. Your skills, abilities and knowledge make up
the other 12.5%).
HOW
DO I GET THE RIGHT ATTITUDE?
1.
Enlist the co-operation of a positive close friend that you can
confide in. Share your personal goals and dreams. Ignore the "knockers"
who will try to put you down out of jealousy (the "tall poppy
syndrome" so prevalent here in NewZealand, but especially Australia).
2.
Seek out the right people (successful and enthusiasticones who have
the right attitude). DON'T NEGLECT YOUR OLD FRIENDS TO GET IDEAS
, but remember, your potential has nothing to do with your ultimate
performance.
3.
Select a model to emulate or follow...who you would like to be like?
(Only if you are not happy with the way you are.)
4.
Learn from your mistakes. Daley Thompson, the former great British
athlete in the decathlon said... "I will learn morethan any
other experience from my failures than my successes ."In his
goal setting, Thompson was content to grow slowly, because slow
growth is more solid, and he did it in small steps.
Look
beyond your mistakes and savour successful experiences.Don't feel
embarrassed or uncomfortable about your achievements. Make daily
affirmations to yourself that you are doing well and are on the
right track. Reward yourself for minor achievements, or steps on
the road to your bigger goals. Give yourself credit, no matter how
small your achievements, because mental rewards will boost your
motivation. All rewards must come from within. This conditioning
will cultivate a positive attitude in you. (Just like Pavlov's dogs
were conditioned to salivate through association of ideas.) I remember
that from my studies in psychology "many many moons" ago.
EXPECT
SUCCESS: Look forward to positive outcomes and rehearse them in
your mind, rather than anticipating failure. Don't repeat bad experiences-our
attitude ties us down and limits us, so that mediocrity becomes
our destiny.
5.
Make the most of any situation you find yourself in. Try not to
be anxious. Things will work out in the end.
6.
Avoid self-pity. Resilient people don't feel sorry for themselves
too long. The person who wallows in self-pity or bitterness, spends
too much time on introspection and not enough time plotting a comeback.
7.
Be persistent. Winning often means getting up one more time than
you have been knocked down. Persevere and never give up.
8.
Adapt to change and see it as a challenge rather than as uncertain
and frightening.
9.
Always keep things in perspective. Because our job is such a big
part of our self image, a career set-back can make us lose perspective.
If you become unemployed, don't see yourself as a failure, but rather
as having options and an opportunity to pursue a new direction in
your life.
and
finally,
10.
Believe in yourself, but trust in God .
YOUR
ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR DESTINY and YOUR ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR
ALTITUDE
Realistically
analyse your strengths and weaknesses. As a matter of interest,
people generally list more weaknesses than strengths, especially
women (nice things those!). Too often people discount their accomplishments
and focus on what they haven't been able to do.
Making
money in itself is not success, but rather a by-productof success.
Most successful people use the technique of visualisation to foresee
ideal outcomes. If you can foresee getting your desires in the mind,
then you can get there in the body.... at least I think so!
"As
a man thinketh so is he." (the Bible) Haven't I got that one
in already?
Success
or failure is not a matter of luck. The key ingredient is a winning
attitude, together with PERSEVERANCE andcommon sense.
Your
attitude determines your destiny:
Remember
to stick at a task when things don't go right. "When the going
gets tough, the tough get going", as my dear father used to
tell me often. Did it work though with me? All successful people
have true grit and stickability, as well as natural ability. The
winner is often the person who gets up one more time than they are
knocked down. You will hit attitudes in others who say 'you can't
do it'. You have a choice then: a) To remain convinced that you
can do it. b) Stay with their attitude and quit yours.
All
the world's greats would never have been great if theyhad listened
to the opinion of even their closest friends. Caruso, the world's
greatest tenor, was told his voice sounded like a tin can. Thomas
Edison, the inventor of motion pictures, was advised that no-one
would pay to listen to sound coming from a screen. Edison told Henry
Ford to give up making cars and work for him instead and make millions.
Marie Curie was told to forget about radium. Laurence Olivier was
told by friends to give up acting. Benjamin Franklin was told to
stop fiddling with lightning. People told Johnny Weismuller (Tarzan)
that no-one would ever beat his fifty swimming records. His 1936
world record was the qualifying time for the 1972 Olympics! Attitudes
of the time said his records could never be beaten. Now 12 year
old girls regularly beat his times.
Christopher
Columbus took 14 years to raise funding for his ships and crew before
setting out on his explorations. The science and culture of the
day had said that the world was flat. However, Queen Isabella and
King Ferdinand of Spain had faith in Columbus. With that faith and
money behindhim, Columbus took just six months to discover the New
World.
In
the same way, a "flat-world mind-set" can limit our thinking
and lead to mediocrity. In the same way that you can train fleas
to jump a certain height in a bowl, when you take away the bowl,
they still do not jump higher than the learned height.
Our
mind can tie us down and limit us, so that mediocrity becomes our
destiny. Negative attitudes get cemented in concrete.
WITH
THE RIGHT ATTITUDE YOU CAN BE GREATER THAN ANYTHING THAT HAS EVER
HAPPENED TO YOU.
ATTITUDE
BEATS FACTS EVERY TIME.
DARE
TO BE DIFFERENT
*
* * * * * * * * *
Someone
said, "Failure is the line of least persistence." My dear
mother called it "stick-to-it- iv-ness." It generally
boils down to a healthy combination of faith and hard work, and
it usually means success. A short exercise:
Talk
to your best friend or partner *(I hate that common New Zealand
expression- cheapens the institution of marriage and denotes immoral
living - Yes, sir "Mr goody goody two shoes" and "get
with the times, mate") about: * I far prefer the term 'spouse',
which could be an abbreviation for "spastic mouse". Enough
about my personal opinions...
1.
The picture you hold of yourself (i.e.. how you ]see yourself):
Is it positive or negative, are you an introvert, extrovert, popular?
2.
How you see other people seeing you - their perception of you, or
looking glass). Which brings to mind the following wise words (not
mine)...
"I
am not what I think I am." "I am not what you think I
am." "I am what I think you think I am."
STICK
TO IT
According
to William S. Banowsky, the story of one of America's greatest leaders
is actually a story of repeated failures and dogged persistence:
In
1831 he failed in business.
In
1832 he was defeated for the state legislature.
In
1833 he failed again in business.
In
1834 he was elected to the state legislature.
In
1835 his sweetheart died.
In
1836 he had a nervous breakdown.
In
1838 he was defeated for Speaker.
In
1840 he was defeated for Elector.
In
1843 he was defeated for Congress.
In
1846 he was elected for one term to Congress.
In
1848 he was defeated again for Congress.
In
1855 he was defeated for the Senate.
In
1856 he was defeated for Vice President.
In
1858 he was defeated again for the Senate.
In
1860 he, finally, was elected President of the United States.And
these are just a few of the rough spots in the life of Abraham Lincoln.
Are
you feeling discouraged? Perhaps you just need to give it one more
try.
From
Steve Goodier's "ONE MINUTE CAN CHANGE A LIFE"
http://store.yahoo.com/lifesupportsystem/books.html
Abraham
Lincoln grew up in a very difficult environment. He had less than
one year of formal schooling. He experienced defeat and failure
year after year, but is one of the great-est success stories of
all time. In spite of everything, he had the right attitude to achieve
success.
I
HOPE THAT YOU DO TOO.
Craig
Lock
P.S:
This is one of my favourites from my "spiritual mentor",
Rev Robert Schuller from the Chrystal Cathedral, in Garden Grove
in California...
"When
faced with a mountain,
I will not quit! I will keep on striving until I climb over,
find a pass through, tunnel underneath -or simply stay and turn
the mountain into a gold mine,
with God's help! " - Rev R.H. Schuller
As
the saying goes, when you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot
and hang on. Success comes to those who ride out the highs and lows
and stick with their dreams, never giving up.
-----------------------------------------------
Authors
Note:
Craig
Lock has written extensively in the field of self help. This extract
is from his first published book HANDBOOK TO SURVIVE - a collection
of writings on various subjects to help every man or woman survive
in a rapidly changing, uncertain world. This book is available from:
http://www.novelty-gift.com/
Creative
Writing Course http://www.nzenterprise.com/writer/creative.html
The
various books* that I "felt inspired to write" are available
at: http://www.novelty-gift.com/and http://www.bridgeniche.com/CLOCK/zaniestbooks.htm
(Free chapters) * Hard copies and e-books: Fiction and non-fiction,
novels on South Africa, travel, humour, inspiration, self help and
money books
All
proceeds go to needy children - MINE!
THIS
ARTICLE MAY BE FREELY PUBLISHED
If
it helps any others to have a good attitude to life, then I'm happy.
"If
you have knowledge, let others light a candle to it." - Margaret
Fuller
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