Top 7 Ways to Stop Procrastinating Now

by Julie Jordan Scott, © 2001

We have all experienced it. Putting things off, not doing what we believe needs to get done. Finally, we commit to the process and leap into getting our "stuff" done, and we are amazed at both how simple AND how energizing it was to complete all our tasks.

This Top 10 list keep you in action and out of procrastination. So what's stopping you? Nothing except you. Don't just stand there! Do something!

1. Be Vision Directed in the tasks before you. If your tasks do not match your values or purpose, naturally your heart will not desire to check that particular task off your list. Bring your task into congruence or take it OFF the list.

2. Begin and end each day with a solid foundation. Before you end your day, spend five to ten minutes reviewing your day. Take a moment to craft a plan for the next day. When you begin the following day, spend five or ten minutes reviewing your plan and revise as necessary. Also, be sure to spend some foundational time either in quiet contemplation or reading inspirational or motivational material.

3. Release yourself from perfectionism. One of the biggest challenges is believing everything has to be just so.....and therefore we don't do anything if we can't be guaranteed perfection. Either/Or thinking such as this is guaranteed to lead to stagnation. Practice saying, "Oh, well!" After all, what is the absolute worse thing that would happen from taking action?

4. Dream big while creating it one step at a time. With each step you get closer to the dream. With no steps at all: being stuck in procrastination, you will NEVER get there. Break your "to-do's" into smaller, non intimidating chunks.

5. Balance planning and creating or doing. Keep your basic plan simple so you do not spend so much time planning what you want to do that you never get to do what you want to do. If you find yourself leaning into the frenetic planning place stop, take a break, and do a reality check. What is up with using planning as another method of procrastination? What is underneath the over planning? Are you vision directed? Is there congruency in your plan and your purpose? Are you expressing YOUR gifts as a part of your vision, or is there an overwhelming sense of "shoulds" on your list?

6. Delegate those tasks which are not invigorating to you. Either barter them, hire someone to do them, or make a request of a friend or colleague to assist in exchange for your assistance somewhere else. In this way, you will be able to check something off your list. It WILL invigorate you.

7. Join with a friend or a colleague to as an accountability partner. Schedule a regular time to check in either daily or weekly. Create momentum and watch as both your business and your dreams flourish right before your eyes!

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About the Author:

Julie Jordan Scott is a Certified Life Purpose Coach who works with action oriented, creative people who are ready to live each moment with passion. Dare to Discover Your Passion, Decide to live YOUR Destiny by subscribing to Julie's daily ezine by sending an email now to:mailto:[email protected] or visit her website at http://www.5passions.com
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The Meaning of "Normal"�..

Author: Kim Eyer, © 2001

As a domestic violence survivor, I've often been asked the question, "Here's my situation�is this normal?" Or sometimes the concept of "normal" comes up in a slightly different context, a question more along the lines of "When will I feel normal again?" from others who have left abusive partners. Many times I've seen and answered questions like these through email or on message board posts, both at our own Rhiannon3.net website and on other domestic violence or abuse topic message boards.

I lived as an abuse victim for several years in a terrible marriage. Later, I escaped that relationship and moved on to personal healing and growth, and to a pleasant second marriage that by any standards can be viewed as "normal". It concerns me when I see someone ask a question along these lines. Of course, I offer a response. However, the heart of the issue rests in how little we understand abuse and it's effect on domestic violence victims. My concern about this issue and for the individuals who ask these types of questions is the reason behind writing this article.

There are two sides of normal from my perspective. One of these is the concept of normal as it relates to a relationship between two people. The other is the concept of normal in terms of an abuse survivor's feelings, struggle with overwhelming emotions and the road to emotional healing.

So what is normal in a relationship? To me, it means a relationship where each party respects the other's views, beliefs, abilities and accomplishments. Both offer emotional support and are willing to listen to each other's perspectives, needs or concerns about daily life, interactions with others, decision-making concerns and the future.

A normal relationship also means both partners are willing to allow the other to be themselves and participate in activities that are of interest to them. By this I do not mean at the expense of the relationship, but rather that both partners are comfortable pursuing some level of interest or activity in things that do not always involve their partner. A simple bubble bath or evening tinkering in the garage or woodshop are things each partner is happy to let the other do and enjoy - instead of the contrary in an abusive relationship where one is deliberately made to feel selfish for such simple occasional personal wants.

More than abnormal, an abusive relationship is just downright unhealthy and detrimental to both partners. In an abusive relationship jealousies flare, the victim is constantly downtrodden with bashes to their self-esteem, the victim is expected to cater to the unreasonable and selfish needs of the abusive partner, the victim's accomplishments and abilities are continually discounted, threats are a frequent part of daily life as well.

Perhaps one of the most startling things about an abusive relationship is the victims' frequent need to ask if such a situation constitutes abuse. Lots of people think of abuse only as physical assaults - beatings, slapping, hitting, pushing or shoving. Abuse involves many other behaviors. Emotional, verbal and mental abuses are the "hidden" ones, the ones few people recognize. This is the reason so many victims feel the need to ask, "Is this normal?" or "Is this abuse?" In general many people, including those trapped in abusive relationships, think that without physical beatings then there is some question that the relationship is an abusive one - nothing could be further from the truth.

In an abuse victim's experiences, the verbal, emotional or mental abuses are equally detrimental and leave emotional damage to later overcome. These are the things that tear down their self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and steal away their personal strength and belief in their own abilities. An abusive partner uses these abuses to keep the victim down, to keep them from having any independence, to pass off the guilt for their own inadequacies and inappropriate behavior both in the relationship and in dealing with others.

As for the abusive partner, the relationship is detrimental for them as well. They go through daily life blaming everything that goes wrong (or problems that they create themselves) on the victimized partner and the relationship. Allowing someone to live in such a manner and not be held accountable and responsible for their own actions is unhealthy and unrealistic. As long as the victim remains in the relationship, the abusive partner is simply encouraged to continue to live and think in a twisted way, out of touch with true reality.

The second issue I raised at the opening of this article is the frequently asked question by abuse survivors "When will I feel normal again?" This question or similar ones are usually asked when describing an emotional roller coaster of frustration, anger, guilt, self-doubt, fear of decision-making, panic attacks for some - to name a few common reactions after having left an emotionally, verbally abusive partner.

Interestingly enough, all of the things a survivor feels are normal; although, many of them may be unwanted feelings. However, if we think about it, it doesn't take much to realize the reactions, emotions or states of mind are quite normal in their own way. Any human being who experiences these abuses has these reactions in common. Sure, for some it is worse than others and symptoms may be more severe.

Read the posts of domestic violence survivors on message boards and you will see a common theme. Namely, a situation where individuals who have recently left an abusive partner come to vent their feelings, express self-doubt about not being normal, ask questions about when they will feel "normal" or better, and ask if anyone else has had similar feelings. Replies from more experienced domestic violence and abuse survivors offer validation of the feelings, encouragement and comments like, "yes, what you are feeling is normal, we have all been there", and then suggestions for helping to overcome these feelings through healing.

The bottom line is, to experience abuse and the difficult emotions that arise because of it, are normal reactions in any human being. It may not feel very good, it's a struggle and an indication of the need for emotional healing and rebuilding of self-esteem - but it is indeed quite normal to experience these types of mixed feelings after being conditioned and downtrodden with abuse by someone who supposedly loves you.

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Copyright (c) 2001 Kim Eyer

Kim is a domestic violence survivor and the owner of EyerStation Web Development, which supports this website. She is the site author of the Rhiannon3.net webpages. She and her husband have incorporated the Rhiannon3, Inc. non-profit organization. Comments about this article are welcome on the Survivor's Post forum of the Rhiannon3.net message board.

Kim has written an eBook, "Dear Lord, Deliver Me From This Hell", about her domestic violence experiences. It is available in the Rhiannon3.net Bookstore. All proceeds are donated.
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