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Stop
Expensive Mistakes Before you Spend on Professional Services
Judy Cullins ©2004 All Rights Reserved.
So many clients come to me as a book or marketing coach telling me how
they spent and wasted a lot of money and time following different well-known
gurus in the book and publicity fields.
Debbie's Story
A recent client, Debbie,
already got her books printed--over 900 left to sell from the 1000 at too much
cost. She's discouraged and now doesn't have much money to promote her masterpiece.
Too bad she didn't consult with a professional book coach with 20 plus years
experience who could save her mistakes learned from pros who don't have the best
interests of the unknown authors with limited resources at heart.
The traditional
path is not the path for all of us.
Think self-publishing. Think Print on Demand, but be careful.
The Book Coach
Says...If you are a new author looking for printing/publishing direction, check
out the best Print on Demand Printer/Publisher at www.deharts.com.
Many of my
clients who use them are happy with the results. They give the author total control
over the book and only print what you need. They also don't offer phony marketing
promises. Many other POD companies who take only $600 up front, but over price
your book. While they list your book on their site, they do not offer any promotion
to it. The author still has to promote the book.
At Deharts 200 books may cost you $4-$5 each. That's only $800 plus instead of
the whopping price (even though discounted) of $3000 for 1000 copies. You need
that other money for learning marketing and promotion tips from a book coach
who has great marketing success. When you spend too much on printing, that leaves
little marketing dollars--the most important part of your book project.
If you
plan to sell your book at the back of the room after a talk, then print only
as many as you will use in 4 months. That may be as little as 100 copies. The
rest of your promotion is nearly free when you learn online promotion such as
writing tips and articles to submit to online no spam ezines.
Another tip from
your coach is to get a reasonably priced person who can edit, design and format
your chapters, put your book into PDF so you can sell on the internet and create
a printed version from the same file, and submit it for you to a quality POD
company like Deharts.
Save yourself many dollars from book writing, publishing and marketing mistakes.
Use a qualified book coach.
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Judy Cullins: 20-year author, speaker,
book coach Helps entrepreneurs manifest their book and web dreams
eBk: "Write your eBook or Other Book Fast!" FRE.E "The Book Coach Says..." or
Business Tip of the Month www.bookcoaching.com/opt-in.shtml -- mailto:[email protected]
Orders: 866/200-9743 -- Ph: 619/466-0622
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Selfishness
versus Self-Responsibility
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
One
of the last things any of us want to be called is "selfish." We
often end up doing things we don't want to do to avoid being
seen as selfish. In my counseling work with people, I often
hear the questions, "Aren't I being selfish if I take care
of myself instead of take care of everyone else? Am I being
selfish if I do what I want instead of what someone else wants
me to do?"
The problem occurs because of an inaccurate definition
of "selfish."
We are being selfish when:
� We expect others
to give themselves up for us.
� We make others responsible
for our feelings of pain and
joy.
�We get angry at others for doing what they want to do rather than doing
what we want them to do.
�We consistently make own feelings, wants, needs and
desires important without also considering others feelings, wants, needs and
desires.
�We believe we are entitled to special treatment, such as not having
to wait in line.
We are being self-responsible when:
�We take care of our own feeling, wants,
desires and needs
rather than expecting others to take care of us.
�We support others in doing
what brings them joy, even when
they are not doing what we want them to do.
�We show caring toward others for
the joy it give us rather
than out of fear, obligation, or guilt.
�We have the courage to take loving
action in our own behalf, even if someone gets angry with us. For example, we
go to bed early because we are tired, even if our partner gets angry at us for
not watching a movie with him or her.
�We have the courage to speak our truth
about what we will or will not do, and what we do or do not feel, rather than
give ourselves up to avoid criticism, anger or rejection
Giving ourselves up to avoid being called selfish is not self-responsible - it
is manipulative and dishonest. When we give ourselves up to avoid criticism,
we are trying to control how another feels about us.
Taking loving care of ourselves,
with no intent to harm
another is self-responsible. Yet we are often called "selfish" when we take care
of ourselves. For example, Tammy had signed up to take one of my weekend workshops
and was really looking forward to it. She let her husband, Frank, and two children
know weeks before the workshop that she was going, and that it was important
to her. The day before the workshop Frank was given four great tickets to a basketball
game. He wanted Tammy to go with him the next day, which was the first day of
the workshop. When she said no, he got angry at her and told her she was selfish
for doing what she wanted to do rather than spending the time with the family.
Tammy came to the workshop with much to work on!
In reality, it was Frank who
was being selfish in expecting Tammy to give herself up and do what he wanted
her to do rather than what was really important to her. He was not caring at
all about Tammy � he just wanted what he wanted. He felt entitled to be angry
at her when she didn't give in
to his demands.
For Tammy, this was a crazy-making situation. Being labeled as selfish when it
is really Frank who was being selfish is crazy-making. Many of us grew up with
parents who crazy-made
us in this way � demanding that we give ourselves up for them and telling us
we were selfish when we were actually taking responsibility for our own happiness
and well being.
It is important for each of us to define selfishness and self-responsibility
for ourselves so that we are not dependent upon others' definition of us. When
you become secure in knowing that you not only have the right, but the responsibility,
to support your own joy and highest good -
with no intent to harm another � then you will not be tempted to give yourself
up when someone tells you that you are selfish for not doing what he or she wants
you to do. When we are secure in knowing that our own intent is a loving one,
we do not have to manipulate others into defining us as caring by giving ourselves
up.
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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books,
including "Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding
course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:[email protected]. Phone
sessions available.
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