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The Rhiannon3 eZine is delivered Monthly to all members' eMail addresses. The eZine provides you articles of interest to women, men and families. The feature articles are placed here for online reading. Join now and receive a Free copy of the eBook, "Protect Yourself From Swindlers." The Rhiannon3 eZine archive is available at /archive.html
Features from the Rhiannon3 eZine, August 15, 2004 edition:

Stop Expensive Mistakes Before you Spend on Professional Services
Judy Cullins ©2004 All Rights Reserved.


So many clients come to me as a book or marketing coach telling me how they spent and wasted a lot of money and time following different well-known gurus in the book and publicity fields.

Debbie's Story

A recent client, Debbie, already got her books printed--over 900 left to sell from the 1000 at too much cost. She's discouraged and now doesn't have much money to promote her masterpiece. Too bad she didn't consult with a professional book coach with 20 plus years experience who could save her mistakes learned from pros who don't have the best interests of the unknown authors with limited resources at heart.

The traditional path is not the path for all of us.

Think self-publishing. Think Print on Demand, but be careful.

The Book Coach Says...If you are a new author looking for printing/publishing direction, check out the best Print on Demand Printer/Publisher at www.deharts.com.

Many of my clients who use them are happy with the results. They give the author total control over the book and only print what you need. They also don't offer phony marketing promises. Many other POD companies who take only $600 up front, but over price your book. While they list your book on their site, they do not offer any promotion to it. The author still has to promote the book.

At Deharts 200 books may cost you $4-$5 each. That's only $800 plus instead of the whopping price (even though discounted) of $3000 for 1000 copies. You need that other money for learning marketing and promotion tips from a book coach who has great marketing success. When you spend too much on printing, that leaves little marketing dollars--the most important part of your book project.

If you plan to sell your book at the back of the room after a talk, then print only as many as you will use in 4 months. That may be as little as 100 copies. The rest of your promotion is nearly free when you learn online promotion such as writing tips and articles to submit to online no spam ezines.

Another tip from your coach is to get a reasonably priced person who can edit, design and format your chapters, put your book into PDF so you can sell on the internet and create a printed version from the same file, and submit it for you to a quality POD company like Deharts.

Save yourself many dollars from book writing, publishing and marketing mistakes. Use a qualified book coach.

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Judy Cullins: 20-year author, speaker, book coach Helps entrepreneurs manifest their book and web dreams eBk: "Write your eBook or Other Book Fast!" FRE.E "The Book Coach Says..." or Business Tip of the Month www.bookcoaching.com/opt-in.shtml -- mailto:[email protected]
Orders: 866/200-9743 -- Ph: 619/466-0622

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Selfishness versus Self-Responsibility
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

One of the last things any of us want to be called is "selfish." We often end up doing things we don't want to do to avoid being seen as selfish. In my counseling work with people, I often hear the questions, "Aren't I being selfish if I take care of myself instead of take care of everyone else? Am I being selfish if I do what I want instead of what someone else wants me to do?"

The problem occurs because of an inaccurate definition of "selfish."

We are being selfish when:
� We expect others to give themselves up for us.
� We make others responsible for our feelings of pain and joy.
�We get angry at others for doing what they want to do rather than doing what we want them to do.
�We consistently make own feelings, wants, needs and desires important without also considering others feelings, wants, needs and desires.
�We believe we are entitled to special treatment, such as not having to wait in line. We are being self-responsible when:
�We take care of our own feeling, wants, desires and needs rather than expecting others to take care of us.
�We support others in doing what brings them joy, even when they are not doing what we want them to do.
�We show caring toward others for the joy it give us rather than out of fear, obligation, or guilt.
�We have the courage to take loving action in our own behalf, even if someone gets angry with us. For example, we go to bed early because we are tired, even if our partner gets angry at us for not watching a movie with him or her.
�We have the courage to speak our truth about what we will or will not do, and what we do or do not feel, rather than give ourselves up to avoid criticism, anger or rejection

Giving ourselves up to avoid being called selfish is not self-responsible - it is manipulative and dishonest. When we give ourselves up to avoid criticism, we are trying to control how another feels about us.

Taking loving care of ourselves, with no intent to harm another is self-responsible. Yet we are often called "selfish" when we take care of ourselves. For example, Tammy had signed up to take one of my weekend workshops and was really looking forward to it. She let her husband, Frank, and two children know weeks before the workshop that she was going, and that it was important to her. The day before the workshop Frank was given four great tickets to a basketball game. He wanted Tammy to go with him the next day, which was the first day of the workshop. When she said no, he got angry at her and told her she was selfish for doing what she wanted to do rather than spending the time with the family. Tammy came to the workshop with much to work on!

In reality, it was Frank who was being selfish in expecting Tammy to give herself up and do what he wanted her to do rather than what was really important to her. He was not caring at all about Tammy � he just wanted what he wanted. He felt entitled to be angry at her when she didn't give in to his demands.

For Tammy, this was a crazy-making situation. Being labeled as selfish when it is really Frank who was being selfish is crazy-making. Many of us grew up with parents who crazy-made us in this way � demanding that we give ourselves up for them and telling us we were selfish when we were actually taking responsibility for our own happiness and well being.

It is important for each of us to define selfishness and self-responsibility for ourselves so that we are not dependent upon others' definition of us. When you become secure in knowing that you not only have the right, but the responsibility, to support your own joy and highest good - with no intent to harm another � then you will not be tempted to give yourself up when someone tells you that you are selfish for not doing what he or she wants you to do. When we are secure in knowing that our own intent is a loving one, we do not have to manipulate others into defining us as caring by giving ourselves up.

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:[email protected]. Phone sessions available.

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