If we intend to create proper change concerning domestic violence we must become more concerned with the truth and collectively begin to destroy many of the contemporary myths that serve little to no useful purpose concerning the victims of domestic violence who need help most and simply serve to widen the schism between women's and men's right groups. Researchers and other professionals must recognize that regardless of the differences in numbers and types of violence concerning male and female victims of domestic violence all victims of violence deserve our empathy and support. The National Violence Against Women (NVAW) Survey in The Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women documents that:

The data show that violence is more widespread and injurious to women's and men's health than previously thought - an important finding for legislators, policymakers intervention planners, and researchers as well as the public health and criminal justice communities.

To moderate the fanatical schism between contemporary women's and men's rights groups there must be recognition by each side concerning the fact that all studies document that woman suffer more chronic, serious, injurious and sexual assaults than men. Just as important concerning abusers, the message must be that the abusers are some men and/or women and not men and/or women in particular who are abusers. The answer to understanding the reason for violence against women is to first understand women do not suffer violence alone.

In her book, The Nurture Assumption, Judith Harris writes that you can determine in some very young children, behavior that indicate they may be prone to use or be victims of violence as adults. These children act aggressively, have high activity levels, are insensitive to the feelings of other children, lack the fear of spankings or physical force, take risky chances just to seek excitement, and are of less than average intelligence. These traits are demonstrated at a very early age. The July 2001 report from the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, "Blueprints for Violence Prevention," documents that many aggressive and violent youth, those who are the most serious and chronic offenders of violent anti-social behavior, display signs of that type of behavior and can be identified as early as the preschool years. "

The report further documents that early intervention and programs for children and their parents can help support the proper "physical, cognitive, and social-emotional development of children." The majority of those who are identified as abusers and/or victims when they are adults by the criminal justice system have not decided at adulthood they will now abuse or accept abuse from others. The majority of abusers and victims are people who continue this pattern of aggressive and antisocial behavior established in their youth. This does not mean that all abusers have histories of this behavior. What is does mean is that reams of data document the majority of abusers and their victims, do share similar family violence risk characteristics.

A recent study sampled 360 young-adult couples from a birth cohort. The study found that the in couples where there was family conflict the majority of the couples shared similar risk characteristics. Those that displayed these risk characteristics were prone to be abusers. The researchers used a Multidimensional Personality Questionnaire to access what they call "negative emotionality." Their study documents that negative emotionality demonstrates a measurable risk characteristic for abuse.

In the early 1970s Samuel Yochelson and Stanton E. Samenow produced their classic multi-volume work titled The Criminal Personality. They were concerned with trying to determine what behaviors chronic criminals shared. They identified 53 patterns of thought and action, which they said were present in all 255 offenders. "They described criminals as untrustworthy, demanding, and exploitive of others, with little capacity for love. Habitual offenders were said to harbor a persistent anger, which could boil over at any time. The majority of domestic violence abusers exhibit some or most of these same types of "negative emotionality." While some domestic violence abusers may have problems with self-esteem, many others do not. In fact it is often inflated self-esteem and sensitivity to criticism that creates spontaneous anger.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Web Site, describe indicators of battering behavior as follows: "Does he tend to use force or violence to "solve" his problems? A young man who has a criminal record for violence, who gets into fights, or who likes to act tough is likely to act the same way with his wife and children. Does he have a quick temper? Does he overreact to little problems and frustration? Is he cruel to animals? Does he punch walls or throw things when he's upset? Any of these behaviors may be a sign of a person who will work out bad feelings with violence." National studies document that more than 75 percent of men with restraining orders have histories of criminal court appearances and many other exhibit obvious behavioral problems. Most states document that approximately 15 or 20 percent of restraining orders are taken out against women. That documents that only between 5 and 10 percent of males who represent the general cross section of the vast majority of males do not have restraining orders against them nor do the exhibit violent behavior against women.

In an article "Early Misconduct Detection" in the August 2001 issue of Law and Order concerning the studies of white-collar crime, the most common personality types are individuals who are, ". . . self-centered, lacks self-control, and tends to seek self-gratification without concern for others. When combined with thrill seeking or a propensity toward risk-taking, a tendency to follow momentary impulses and a sense of alienation, this may lead to problems."

There is not a single scintilla of evidence that documents or demonstrates that men who exhibit any of the above behavior do so because of patriarchy. In fact, there is not a single study that document any of the above behavioral problems are found only and exclusively in men. And just as important there is no data presented by anyone, at anytime, anywhere in the history of human kind that can document or demonstrate that the above traits are found in the majority or general cross section of American males. The majority of data that purports that men in general exhibit violent behavior or have misogynistic beliefs concerning women come from studies of men with histories of criminal court appearances or exhibit some of the above documented behavioral problems. All of this begs two questions: What does the rational and important quest to end domestic violence have to do with the wider and righteous struggle for gender equity? And why are men in general painted with the brush of brutal domestic violence behavior exhibited by only a few men?